


all my roads lead back to you

by borrowthemoonlight



Category: 9 to 5 the Musical - Parton/Resnick
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 07:59:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21334873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borrowthemoonlight/pseuds/borrowthemoonlight
Summary: There’s no stopping what she’s about to do, but she tries anyway, as she squeezes her eyes shut and tries to think of anything else.Not about how Violet would make her laugh so hard everyday at their lunch reservations.Not about how Violet would hold her hand sometimes when they were certain no one was looking.Notabout how Violet had kissed her.
Relationships: Judy Bernly/Violet Newstead
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	all my roads lead back to you

**Author's Note:**

> wanna thank the gay dream i had for making me write this

_“Judy, don’t go, please.” _

_Judy pulled her hand away from where Violet’s own went to touch her._

_“Violet, I can’t.” Judy’s voice stuttered. Her lip began to quiver, “I… I just can’t.” She shook her head, looked Violet deep in the eyes to show her she meant it. It almost killed her to see the way Violet looked back at her, a tear streaming down her cheek. _

_Judy turned around, waited until she’d made it round the corner before she began to sob._

_-_

Judy flinches at the memory. Tries to shake it from her mind.

It’s only been two weeks, but it’s felt like a lifetime.

She thought that leaving Violet would be the hardest thing. But now she knows how wrong she was. It’s staying away from her that’s a million times harder than she ever imagined.

There’s no stopping what she’s about to do, but she tries anyway, as she squeezes her eyes shut and tries to think of anything else.

Not about how Violet would make her laugh so hard everyday at their lunch reservations.

Not about how Violet would hold her hand sometimes when they were certain no one was looking.

_Not_ about how Violet had kissed her.

Not about how soft Violet’s lips were, or how good, or how _right_ it felt. Not about Violet’s hand on her cheek, or about how that moment was the very first moment in a _very_ long time, that everything made sense.

No. She can’t think about that. Because if she does, she’ll get her coat, and if she does that then she’ll grab her car keys and if that happens, well, then she’ll be headed straight out of her door with no self control.

But now she can’t possibly think of anything else, because if she does, if she thinks of the moments just after their kiss, the fear will all come flooding back.

But thinking only of Violet and how kind and soft and gentle she is? How could she be fearful of that?

Before she knows it, she’s locking her front door behind her.

-

She pulls up just across the street from Violet’s house and stays put for a while. Everything’s so silent all of a sudden. It makes it so much easier for intrusive thoughts to enter her mind and make her drive all the way back home again, with Violet never even knowing she was here.

She doesn’t want that.

It’s just, now that it’s so quiet, and now that Violet is so close, the fear she’d felt that day starts to creep back in.

Violet had kissed her. And the butterflies that she still feels every time she thinks about it are enough to bring her to tears, _have_ been bringing her to tears every night for the past two weeks. But it’s what comes after that that fills Judy with fear. All the questions she has that only she can answer but just _can’t_ seem to. The realisation that everything makes sense now, and the possibility that her whole life up until this point has been a lie.

It didn’t feel like a lie.

Her marriage with Dick was always going to happen, whether she knew then what she knows now or not. And it’s over now. It was well and truly over before she’d even met Violet. And she’s still the same Judy she’s always been.

She’s still Judy, but since Violet had started making them daily lunch reservations, she’s more excited about going into work every day.

She’s still Judy, but the way Violet makes her laugh now puts her in a good mood all day long.

She’s still Judy, but the way Violet secretly holds her hand sometimes makes her feel like a nervous teenager again.

She’s still Judy, but since meeting Violet, she’s happier than she’s ever been.

The only thing putting a stop to that now is fear.

_Fear of what, Judy? Fear that Violet made you feel how you’re supposed to feel when you kiss someone? Fear that you could be feeling like that everyday if you let yourself?_

That’s not it, and she _knows_ that, but she also knows that right now, there’s no _good_ reason she shouldn’t be with Violet right this second. So why is she still wasting time?

-

“Judy?”

_Violet._

All Judy can do is step forward and wrap her arms tightly around Violet’s shoulders, as she begins to quietly sob.

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter? What’s happened?” Violet asks, sounding worried and confused, but holding Judy so securely, Judy’s not sure she’ll ever let go. She’s not sure she wants her to.

“Nothing.” Judy shakes her head. “Nothing bad. I mean, you. You happened. And I was afraid, but Violet, I miss you.” She blurts, not sure if she’s making sense.

Violet lets out a sigh of relief, smiling as her hand finds its way to the back of Judy’s head. “Please come inside.”

-

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Violet says, and Judy can see she’s crying, just a little. “I’ve been so worried about you, Judes.”

“You should hate me.” Judy shakes her head, in disbelief.

“For what? Being scared?” She asks, and Judy nods just slightly, and Violet pulls her into another hug. “You think I’m not scared?” She whispers.

“You are?” Judy whispers back, confused that _anything_ could scare Violet.

“Of course I am.” She laughs, pulling back to look at her, “But why should that mean staying away from each other for the sake of everybody else?”

“I… I’m just not sure… If I can…”

“Judy, I’m not asking you to hold my hand every time we walk down the street together. You gotta know I would _never_ ask you to do that.” Judy suddenly feels a huge weight lift off her shoulders. “I just… I wanna be with you, just us, here, alone, I… God, I’ve missed you.”

Judy can’t stop herself from leaning into Violet, as she whispers, “I wanna be with you too.” And their lips finally touch once more. It’s just like the first time, gentle and soft and most importantly, it still feels _right_.

It’s just like the first time, except this time, when Judy pulls away, she feels anything but fear. It’s like a wave of relief washes over her, as she tries not to giggle. She nods her head firmly, “I want to be with you.”

-

She can’t quite remember how they ended up cuddled on the sofa with a blanket. She doesn’t really care how, all she cares about is how peaceful she feels with Violet’s arm wrapped around her.

She’d very much like to spend more nights like this in the foreseeable future, she thinks, as she slowly moves her hand under the blanket, and intertwines her fingers with Violet’s.

It sends tingles all the way up her arm when Violet gently squeezes her hand.

She smiles, nuzzling her head into Violet’s arm, hoping this night might last forever.

It doesn’t. But she decides that’s alright when Violet kisses her goodnight and asks, “Would you think I’m too eager if I ask you to get breakfast with me tomorrow?”

Judy laughs.

“That would be wonderful. And not too eager.”

-

When Judy arrives home, she dances all the way up the stairs, before crying herself to sleep for the fifteenth night in a row.

But this time she doesn’t feel nearly as much fear and no longer even an ounce of heartbreak.

For the first time in a _long_ time, Judy feels hopeful about the future.


End file.
